Relationships are part of our personal evolution; they can be magical and a pain in the butt at the same time. The emotional roller coaster of a break up is never easy. All we can hope for in the end is clarity and wisdom as a result of the sorrow and frustration we suffered. And unless you decide to become a hermit and tuck yourself away in the Alaskan wilderness with only deer and rabbits to keep you company, you will constantly be affected by relationships of all types one way or another. There is no stopping it.
Break ups are tough. They can be another kind of hurt; turning any strong, independent being into someone who sleeps 12 hours a day, watches HBO non-stop and invests a small fortune into fast food. Or they can have the opposite effect; turning someone into a productive non-stop working machine. There are lots of different ways we can go about healing from a break up; no way is wrong or right – it’s about what’s right for you.
Sometimes though, it does help to go by a few guidelines during an earth-shattering, soul crushing experience. So put down that kleenex, stop texting your ex and take a look at these five suggestions:
1. Communicate, communicate, communicate!: Don’t want to talk to anyone at first? That’s more than fine. Hide out, do your thing, but eventually you’re going to have to re-introduce yourself back into the social world. It will help you to reach out to people you trust and love. Having someone who will listen to you and empathize is one of the best ways to heal. Not feeling up for expressing yourself verbally still? Remember, you don’t have to go into all the dirty details. Even asking a friend to take you out to dinner, or letting your friends and family come over and see you, or letting them get you out of the house is another form of communication; it’s a way of getting out of any depressive state you could be in. And besides, isn’t it nice to let your friends and family pump you up and tell you how awesome you are?
2. Treat yourself: What’s one thing you’ve wanted for a while (and now can afford!) that you didn’t get because you had made pricy plans with your ex? Buy it! Feel like getting your hair done? Do it! Go see a movie, eat some chocolate, eat that cheeseburger. Go for long walks, take yoga, listen to some music. Take up some new hobbies, read some funny books. This is the time to be your own best friend (and bargain hunter!)
3. Take time to heal, and go easy on yourself: It’s cliché, but time is your best friend. The trick is knowing that, and realizing it won’t take a day to get over someone who was a pretty heavy part of your life. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Let yourself grieve. Let yourself feel – you’ll do much better later on as a result.
4. Become a journaling expert: Also part of communication as a healing technique, journaling is a great way to get it all out. Especially if you’re not up to telling people what happened because it’s uncomfortable, or maybe you just want to keep it to yourself. Writing in your journal while feeling upset or sad is when it’s most cathartic and effective. Feel free to totally open up, to be honest and true to yourself. Write letters to yourself or maybe your ex that you don’t actually plan on sending. Get it out, free yourself through writing – and hey, drawing helps too!
5. Learn from your experience: The most important goal. We can learn from every relationship, and that’s when we win. If you have taken something from it that will help you evolve and grow as a person in a positive way, then you’ve accomplished a lot. Nothing is ever a waste of time. Life is short! Try to take it in as much as you can – warts and all.