As far as New Year’s Resolutions go, Pamela’s staff member, Katharine Sawchuk, is a big fan of Oprah.com and came across this little nugget of advice; for this New Year – be yourself! Here are some tips:

• Tell the truth to yourself. Think about how much of your self-worth is based on what you do, how you look, who you know, what you’ve accomplished (i.e., the external stuff). The more you let go of being defined by the external, the more freedom, peace and power you can experience. And, as you really get honest with yourself, you may realize that outside of these external things, you don’t really know who you are. As scary as this may seem on the surface, it’s actually great news and can give you access to a deeper and more meaningful experience of who you are.
• Appreciate who you really are. What do you appreciate about yourself that has nothing to do with anything external? In other words, what personal qualities (of being, not doing) do you value about yourself? The more you’re able to tap into what you appreciate about who you are (not what we do), the more capacity you have for real confidence, peace and self-love.
• Practice just being you. As silly as it may sound, you have a great deal of experience being phony or being how you think you’re supposed to be. It actually takes conscious practice to be able to just show up and be who you are. Practice alone, with people you know, and with total strangers. This is all about awareness: paying attention to how you feel, what you’re thinking, what you say and how you show up. It’s not about getting it right or doing anything specific; it’s about letting go of our erroneous notions of how you think you’re supposed to be and just allowing yourself to be who you are in the moment.

If you’re the host, or just a concerned party, sometimes a little conflict resolution is required. Pick your battles, of course, however if you feel a certain blown-out situation needs a little finessing, then by all means take Santa’s reigns and diffuse away.

Simple tips from Inspired Abundance can make conflict easier to deal with:

1. Break the tension. Do something completely out of character to break the tension. Laughter can go a long way toward diffusing conflict. Don’t expect it to solve the whole problem. However, it will give you a chance to take a break from the anger so you can gather your thoughts, cool down, and begin to work toward a solution.
2. Adhere to company policy. If the problem is at work, refer to company policy. While a company may not consider every possible issue in their handbook, it may address many common problems. Using the company policy as a guideline prevents claims of favouritism.
3. Act quickly. If at all possible, avoid putting off the conflict for a more convenient time. Allowing conflict and ill feelings to remain will only serve to make your office or home stressful. It’s best to deal with it immediately.

Finding a resolution:

1. Identify the problem. This is the first step to resolving a conflict effectively. You’re not likely to solve a problem if you have no idea what it is. To determine what the problem is, talk calmly and listen to each other without judgment.
2. State your needs. It’s quite possible the person who’s angry doesn’t really know what the problem is. Each person should write down any needs that aren’t being met. Do they expect a raise they haven’t received? Maybe they’re not getting enough sleep. Are they dealing with a long-term illness in their family? Voicing their needs may reduce some of their anger.
3. Find a solution. Now that you know what’s bothering the other, you can work on resolving the conflict. It’s planning time. Ask questions: What can be done so that both people are satisfied with the outcome? How can we work together to fix this problem? If we cannot resolve the issue right away, what can we do to work toward a resolution? When both people are more intent on finding a solution rather than arguing or fighting, you’re more likely to find a solution both can be comfortable with.
4. Follow through. Be sure to follow through with the steps necessary to solve the initial problem.

What are some of your conflict-resolution tips? Email us! Info@releaseyourvoice.com

It’s about searching and finding your intentions; don’t worry if a question is intimidating, think of it as jumping into a cold lake. Embrace it! It’s about what you need in order to feel “happy and fulfilled.” We all need to remember to make time for what matters to us.

Here are the questions:

1. Who am I? How do I think of myself? What are my strengths and weaknesses?
2. Who do I want to be?
3. Why am I here? Why am I important? What is my mission?
4. What am I missing? The time to read a book? A close friendship?
5. What’s my motivation for wanting to improve my food and exercise habits? If it’s to look better, do I expect favorable results to bring love?
6. Am I afraid of making changes or of taking risks (quitting a boring job, getting out of a bad relationship)? Do I fear failure or the responsibility that could come with success? Could I embrace change instead as an adventure?
7. What has stopped me from keeping resolutions in the past? Is the obstacle (or obstacles) still present in my life? If so, how will I navigate it this time?
8. When I’m tempted to wander off track, what could I say to myself, or do, to stick with the original plan?
9. How can I build in support for myself? Ask a friend to be a health buddy? Join a walking club?
10. What am I doing in my life that’s hurting me? Smoking? Drinking too much? Letting work interfere with relationships?
11. What are the sources of joy I need to feel whole?
12. Am I happy?

“If you don’t have the energy to make changes now, ask yourself these questions again in a month or two. And consider that in order to part with what has become habit or routine, you may simply need to take a leap of faith. “So many of us are in jobs we hate or relationships that are stagnant, but we’re too paralyzed to change,” says surgeon Nancy Snyderman, MD, whose books include Dr. Nancy Snyderman’s Guide to Good Health for Women over Forty. “As we age, we stop taking risks.”

Happy Wednesday, everyone!

Our words and our voices are important and we should acknowledge those things as such, however when it comes to giving professional presentations, a little slip of the tongue can be hard to recover from.

The article provided great insight, and a few tips to try along the way:

1. Just because someone laughs, doesn’t make it clever.

If part of the audience is laughing, remember it may not be because your “slip” was genuinely funny – but instead, it’s a nervous reaction causing the laughter. Think about where your at, and move on.

2.The classic: KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE.

Ask yourself, would I say this if my co-workers or boss were here? Would I say this to a complete stranger? Will this offend anyone? If the answer is yes to any of these questions, it may be wise to omit your joke from the presentation.

3. There will sometimes/always be a recording.

This is the world we live in; smart phones can make or break us. Realize all eyes (and all technology) are on you, especially if your speaking within a professional capacity. Don’t let your joke come back to haunt you.

4.The most outrageous thing will kill the most important thing.

The whole point of your speech is to present key messages – not to crack jokes. Don’t let what’s funny to you distract an audience from your messaging. Think about all the time and effort you have put in to preparing, and maybe reconsider.

Oprah.com published an interesting article on recognizing your talents. It suggests often times we deflect compliments (you’re so creative, you’re so compassionate, you’re very well-spoken, etc.), assuming these qualities “must come easily to everyone.” Being humble can be viewed as a great personality trait, but let’s not forget about recognizing what makes “me”, “me.”

So! Here are some suggestions according to the article:

1. Ask your friend to name three of your strengths.

2. Tell your friend your top passion. Then have your friend tell an imaginary story of your life, based on this passion and your strengths. For instance, “You’re organized, creative, and friendly, and your passion is baking. So, you run a bakery where customers can buy cupcakes with little icing portraits of themselves.”

3. Take a minute to imagine this fantasy as your real life. Tell your friend what appeals to you (“Making cupcakes with artistic frosting would be awesome!”) and what makes you cringe (“I’d never start my own business — the thought of bookkeeping gives me hives”)

4. Now your friend revises the story based on your feedback. (“Okay, you organize monthly bake sales at the local Boys & Girls Club. Kids buy the cupcakes and paint their own portraits.”)

5. Keep going back and forth until the story feels right. This may take three or 13 rounds — there’s no need to rush. Your friend will likely suggest unexpected scenarios. Don’t let knee-jerk objections (“That would cost too much!” “When would I have time?”) shape your feedback. This is about crafting a scenario tailored to your strengths.

6. Stop when the story feels completely satisfying. You’ve just shaped your passion into a goal and defined what you do and don’t want from your calling.

Being confident and believing in your abilities will take your day-to-day life and natural skills to the next level. 

On October 23rd, 2011, The iPod turned ten. There’s no question this conveniently palm-sized – yet expensive – piece of hardware altered the landscape of the technological world. This portable music player kick started a tidal wave of success for Apple, ultimately leading the multinational corporation to create the insanely popular iPhone – which took the mobile phone industry by the horns and changed its foundation for good.

There’s no question innovations like these have improved the speed in which we communicate. Now you can get messages out faster and more efficiently. You don’t even need to dial; just send a quick text, a quick email from your iPhone, a quick Facebook message and boom! Instant gratification.

This isn’t limited to basic conversation. We can film, photograph, record anything we want and communicate that way. However, with the way the human race is running – full force and deeper into our technological era – we tend not to question if this is the best way to convey messages of importance.

Human-to-human contact is almost a rarity these days. As helpful as these tools have been, it can be argued they’ve taken away from the sanctity of connecting through personal interaction. Looking each other dead in the eye is now a lost art, touching a hand, smiling, relaying information in person, is fading away.

There is a plus, however. When you do end up speaking with someone by ‘traditional’ means, it’s refreshing. Forcing yourself to actually ‘talk’ to somebody, no matter how shy or confident you may be, is always a personal challenge. These are things we can continue to challenge ourselves with and I feel we will all benefit in the long run. We may have technology to guide us, but what would happen if all those gizmos ceased to work? Would we collapse into an gadget-free coma? Or would we be okay, knowing we’re able to physically travel to a friend’s house and make birthday party plans that way, instead of getting an instant message?

Don’t get me wrong…I’m a gadget nerd, always have been and always will be. But it’s nice to know I can still hold a conversation with a complete stranger if I absoloutley had – or wanted – to.

This entry is written by Pamela’s staff member, Katharine Sawchuk, who is discovering her own path in life, one southern day at a time.

When you were a child, what did you want to be ‘when you grow up’? I remember at the tender age of three, I wanted to be an orchestra conductor just so I could ‘wave the stick around’.’ Then I grew bored of that idea and decided at the age of six I would be a spy. My mom bought me spy books. I would put a hat and coat on, grab my pad and pencil and spy on my parents in hopes of finding something ‘suspicious’ and scandalous enough for me to bribe them for extra cookies after dinner. Alas, I found nothing of the sort. Eventually I became a journalist and transitioned into Public Relations.

I know I enjoy what I do. I love communication, I love people and I love figuring out what makes them tick. I also love writing, so I feel PR is a good fit. However I still think about the future, about where I want to be in five years and what my surroundings could transform into.

For the past month or so I’ve been living in Houston, Texas with my boyfriend. I’ve discovered I’d love to continue down this road however the difficulties of securing sponsorship are great and present a massive challenge ahead. Instead of saying ‘forget it’ and turning away, I’m going to face it head on and see where it leads me.

This got me thinking about personal challenges, and how we can turn them into empowerment or let them take that power away from us. When it’s a good time to back down is up to us, however I believe we should at least try. That way we don’t look back asking the classic: “what if.”

What have been some of your challenges? What have you had to overcome in your life that have lead you to where you want to be? Sometimes it’s a good idea to sit back and reflect on all your hard work, and everything you have accomplished.

I don’t know about you but next to Fridays, Halloween is my favourite day. I wish I could call it a holiday; alas I am not that lucky. It’s the day you can stuff your face with as much calorie-laden, sugary candy as possible and no one will judge you. It’s also a day of disguise and dressing up. Super heros? Hollywood characters? Your boss? Go ahead and bust out that bald cap and coffee cup – this day is designed just for that.

OoooOOOoooOOOoooHHH! Happy Halloween!

Last year I dressed up as Tank Girl, (a post-apocalyptic outlaw super shero who drives a tank and calls a stuffed koala bear her best friend), and had a ball. I went to opening night of the Waldorf Hotel on Hastings for their massive Halloween party. The place was packed. I realized as I was making my way through the crowd of colourful costumes and peppy conversations, that people are really comfortable interacting with each other. I’d sit back to watch completely random people approach each other and discuss their costumes and the night in general.

It hit me most people need a little disguise to show off their personality. Not everyone can be confident off the bat and speak to total strangers with as much zeal as I witnessed that night. Some people need a little make-up – or a crazy wig…or a tail – to represent themselves the way they want.

Now, wouldn’t it be something if we could all strip away the capes and zombie-blood and be ourselves? What a concept! Wouldn’t it be nice to tell someone randomly on the street their outfit looks nice or their shoes are cool? What if someone did that to you? Just came up to you and said “I love your hair” and walked away? I know it would make me feel good and add a little pep to my step for the rest of the day.

I like telling strangers positive things I recognize about them. I feel if we all contributed this way a little bit every day, or even once a week, that positive attitude and compliment could carry on; jumping from person to person. At the end of the day though, everyone should be themselves in any fashion (literally), and you should only do what makes you comfortable.

So until then, indulge in those kit-kat bars, carve up some pumpkins and I hope you all have a safe and Happy Halloween!

If you haven’t been to Texas, I recommend a visit at least once. So far I’ve been to Dallas, Houston and Austin. All fabulous. The food is grand and massively proportioned, the people are kind and welcoming, and the weather bounces between 80 and 90 degrees – daily. A big “sorry” goes out to my fellow Vancouverites, drowning in inches of rain.

That’s not the only thing hot around here. October 6th marked the first day of ‘Occupy Houston’ – one protest in a series of protests which has spread worldwide. It’s about protesting corporate greed as well as economic and social inequality. I feel it’s an opportunity for people to express their frustrations after being put down by the system for as long as they can remember.

What’s fascinating to me is how, in a matter of minutes, thousands of people can gather for a single cause through communication tools like Twitter, Facebook and blogging.

Online methods of communication such as Twitter and Live Streaming (real-time online videos) have had a huge hand in keeping the momentum going. The official Occupy Houston Twitter for example, will Tweet about the movement going on in New York – that will then be re-tweeted by a casual observant, who effectively keeps that messaging alive through various groups of people.

One of the signs used in Occupy Houston

I’ve been to a couple of the Houston gatherings so far, and have also witnessed more traditional means of communication. These events are a hub-bub of verbal activity. People are talking about all kinds of different injustices to each other. A lot hand out flyers; encouraging people to come out and support different movements. Some events aren’t so heavy; there are talent shows, art shows and concerts.

It’s interesting when you see a common foundation of thoughts bring the masses together. This doesn’t mean everyone is going to agree with each other however, but through simply communicating one thought ‘Occupy Wall Street’ or one goal ‘Gather here at this time for a march’ – that’s all you need to create a ripple through a massive wave of people.

I’m lucky enough to witness such things. To watch people take an ongoing issue like social inequality – something that would usually keep people’s confidence in themselves and their surroundings down – and turn it into powerful language, is quite amazing. Powerful language, confidence and passion will drive any movement big or small. Whether it’s about influencing a city or an individual’s home life, confidence in your messaging will bring that influence a step closer to an ultimate goal.

Delivering Bad News to Your Employees: Let Timing, and Medium, be Part of the Message

Just like getting dumped from a romantic relationship, no one wants to hear bad news from a boss via e-mail.

“That’s kind of a cowardly way to do things,” Bristol-Smith says. “That happens more and more these days: You don’t have to look in their eyes, you don’t have to hear the disappointment in their voice.”

If it’s a large announcement that affects many employees, breaking them into small groups can help, Javitch says. Small groups feel more connected and allow people to feel more comfortable about asking questions.

But a large group setting has advantages too: If everyone hears the same message at once, rumors or false information are less likely to spread throughout your company.

If it’s a one-on-one situation, it’s best to have someone else in the room with you and the employee, such as a human resources representative.

Experts differ on what time of day or day of the week is best for delivering bad news. But most agree if it’s a big company-wide announcement, you should wait until late in the day between the middle and the end of the week. But if it’s a serious issue—such as an employee caught embezzling—take action at the start of the day. Other employees will note of the seriousness of the situation if you’re visibly escorting someone out of the building.

For good measure, you should allow for a question-and-answer session after you announce most big news.  Taking suggestions for how to improve the situation makes employees feel engaged in the process, Javitch says. You can ask: “What would you do in my shoes?”

“Let them be problem solvers,” he says. “They’re more likely to adhere to what the solution is.”

Employees will judge you by your actions in both good times and bad. Handling the bad poorly will sabotage the future productivity.

“That’s what happens after everyone else is let go: They start working on their resumes,” Bristol-Smith says. “And they don’t wait until the end of the day to do that.”

Got any more questions? Shoot them over: info@releaseyourvoice.com!